I’ve been a foster carer for about 13 years now. Most of my experience has been with teenagers, though I’ve also done some parent and child placements. They’re very different experiences, but both have taught me a lot. Long-term fostering with teens has been my main focus, and I’ve genuinely enjoyed it. You get to see the full journey, from starting secondary school, through GCSEs, A-levels, and even university. I’ve been lucky enough to walk that path with one of my foster children, who’s still with us. Watching them grow into the person they want to be, especially when they come in with a negative view of themselves, is incredibly rewarding.
Fostering has its challenges, let’s not pretend otherwise, but the rewards far outweigh them. Seeing a young person achieve something they never thought possible, and knowing you helped guide them there, is a feeling like no other.
As a man in fostering, I think we bring a unique dimension. For boys especially, having someone they can emulate or copy behaviours from is important. Sometimes it’s through conversation, sometimes just by example. I’ve found that I often bring the fun whether it’s sports, football, or just a jokey relationship. But I’ve also had to be mindful of risks, like the potential for accusations. I always make sure I’m balanced and careful. If a child needs a hug, I’ll give one but never in a bedroom, always in a safe and appropriate space.
We came into fostering through what was originally called “friends and family” care. A friend of my wife was struggling with her son, who was on the autistic spectrum. We stepped in to help, and it changed all of us. My own children saw firsthand that not everyone grows up with unconditional love or parents who are always there. They learned to appreciate the “free things” in life, love, attention, security. That experience led us to become full-time foster carers.
We chose long-term fostering because when we give, we give everything. Short-term placements felt too emotionally difficult for us. With teenagers, you see the biggest transformation, from forming their identity to stepping into adulthood. That’s a journey we wanted to be part of.
To be a good foster carer, you have to be present. Not just when it’s convenient, but when they need you. You have to listen, really hear them, and understand where they’re coming from. Patience, warmth, and unconditional love are key. All children want to be loved, and that’s what we try to bring.
Fostering is a journey, not a single decision. It’s made up of small steps, training, welcoming a child, learning about them, and growing together. And yes, it’s absolutely worth it.
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